blueberrymuffinss.neocities.org


hio !! greetings , you can refer to me as rin ! i am the webmaster, and front end developer of this site. please refer to me with they / them as i prefer it over any other pronoun, but she / he is also fine i guess. its nice to meet you.

i have noticed my memory has gotten a lot worse, so i wanted to keep an archive of the things i know, hence i created this website. keep in mind there are some entries / art that might discuss triggering topics, but i will always put a warning before them. i am not very mentally well if you squint lolol, so i may not percieve similarly to you. with all said, feel free to take a look around, and perhaps stay a while. this website was made with chrome, with a 1080x1920 desktop.

i like art. i guess visual arts in particular, and it has been this way for as long as i can remember. i guess i always liked it because it felt open ended to me and it was a way for me to express my ideas easily. i often don't think in words, and i believe it is since i have a condition called synethesia. some other things i like are writing, reading, j-fashion and other 2000s fashion subcultures, typology, and web design. i also enjoy philosophy and psychology. my hyperfixation at the moment is currently blue lock ! please talk to me about blue lock .. my faves from blue lock are isagi and bachira wowow, there's gonna be a lot of graphics of my favourite shows and books here yippee

okay okay so byi, i am not social at all, but i promise i am working on it. talking to people is extremely hard for me - i tend to feel anxious often paired with having restrictive interests (sometimes they are the only thing i can think about, and i would have nothing else to say ..) i also do not possess a lot of empathy, so i often times miss social cues, struggle with "reading" others, or find it difficult to connect with other people in general. most of the time if i am being rude, i'm not trying to be on purpose. please don't hesitate to correct me. i appreciate tonetags a lot !

i personally have suspected bpd, asd, executive dysfunction, and auditory processing disorder. none are medically diagnosed, just my own speculation. and before you come at me, i came to these conclusions after months to years of monitering and analyzing. so, i would appreciate it if you would be patient with me ! i am not in the best mental state right now, but i am trying my best ! if we interact, it would be appreciated to approach with an open mind, and respect. you may see " iwc " on my names / bios in games, which basically stands for interact with care ^_^

i think that's all i can think of, thanks for reading if you stayed till the end. have a nice day or night stranger !

latest blog entry

25/09/03  :  aead / paper

the webmaster is feeling: The current mood of blueberry_muffinss at www.imood.com
listening to : good - alex g

it's the second day of school today. i wanted to create a small series for myself, where i write an entry a day ( aead ) for the first week of two for school. i think that moments no matter how small should be remembered, and reflected upon. one's perception is original, and it's powerful. my memory is getting a lot worse ( i guess that comes with being mentally unwell or something ) and i have been feeling spaced out more often, where i lose my train of thought. that kind of leads me to ramble often or not make sense at times. sorry if that makes some of my entries difficult to read, i try my best to read over these. today felt especially long, i dont know why. i felt a sense of melancholy hanging over me, but i'm not sure why. i think i'm supposed to be happy, i'm in a good class, i'm with nice teachers, and i'm with some of my friends. speaking is still really hard especially in person, and i think i spoke less today than yesterday. aargh. i wish i can talk to people more easily. i guess it has been here for a long time, and i don't think i would feel truly happy again, like before - like how once a paper is crumbled it won't go back to the way it was again, fully even if it is unfolded. trauma does things to you i guess. i got a bit of homework today, but i dont feel motivated much. i had been writing oc lore for the past hour, it makes me happy but i can't do that forever. it's okay, i will try to finish it later tonight.